Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
