Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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