Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
