He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
