all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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