how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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