he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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