i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
