His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
