hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
