bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
