So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
