It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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