We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
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There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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