I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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