its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
