Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm getting married
To pizza
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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