Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
