I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
