she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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