It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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