i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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