It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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