I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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