i just wanna soil my oats bro
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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