there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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