you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
