thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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