dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
