Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
