Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
