dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize