i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
