my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.