You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?