Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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