i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
