She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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