Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
