? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
