3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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