when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
