i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
