our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She needs sedatives and a leash
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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