she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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