Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I want to make a zoo with you.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
