I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
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The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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