Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
