do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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