another moral hangover. fuck.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
