I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup