i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌