I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast