True but thats because hes a fetus.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!