I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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