The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
