drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
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