Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
