terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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