I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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