You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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