I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
